Talk About an Eye Roller!

This is a really horrible commercial. And I shouldn't have to explain why. The last line is my fave.



ps - Thanks, dude, for displaying who the "artist" is throughout the entire commercial. Can't wait to look him up and see what other magic he has for us.

Plea Letter

Dear Shops of M.V. Manager or whomever this affects the most:

We have a problem. Now, I'm all about solving problems, so I will offer the solution.

The problem: the kiosks, namely the Kiosk Sales People (let's call them the KSP)... you know, the ones up and down every inch of the bottom floor in your mall. You know, the ones who step in front of you, mid-stride, to ask "Can I ask you a question?" And no matter how friendly you say, "Not now, thanks," they continue with something stupid like, "You don't want shiny, luxurious locks?" You know, right?

The solution: Please be a dear and kindly remove them. Please.

Your Valued Customer,
andrea

ps - Could you also do something about the pungent scent that wafts out of Abercrombie and into every nook and cranny in your mall?

It's Raining in the OC

*This post is long. But, get over it. I promise it's worth reading.

So, it's raining here in the OC. That's very uncommon... very. Now, being a Texas girl, I love it. I love the change, love the gloom, love the sound of the constant rhythm of the water tapping on the wet concrete. Memories of splashing around in puddles flood my mind. I remember huddling with my sister under the plaid umbrella I loved so dearly. I remember pinching the crap out of my finger every time I went to close it. I remember having to play "Heads Up - Seven Up" during recess. I remember Lance Woods cheating every time. I remember my sister falling in the mud as she ran to make the bus. I remember sitting in our suburban at the bus stop while it rained all around us, even though we were only two houses away from the bus stop. Literally, two houses away. I remember our front yard would often flood creating The Petty Lake (we were so clever).

But what I think it absolutely hilarious... like, knee-slapping, side-splitting, bust-a-gut funny (ewww... I just realized how horribly violent that is)... are the people's reactions here. Y'all, it would appear as though a tsunami has hit. Or better yet... Armageddon in the form of raindrops. This morning on the news, the segue into the weather portion went like this: flashes of photos of lightning, people being blown away against forceful winds, palm trees being uprooted, power lines crashing down creating thousands of sparks, with these spoken words, "For all severe weather updates, stay tuned to ABC 7... LA and Orange County's weather leader." Then a brief moment of anxiety-driven tones/beats and "Storm Watch 2008" all but comes to life on the screen before Dallas Raines (yes, that's our weatherman's name) comes on to talk about the severity of this weather. Ok, let's gain some perspective, folks. Severe weather?? Really?! Severe weather??? IT'S RAINING!! I understand that because of the flash of photos you just threw up, it would appear to be severe... but let's be honest, those weren't even photos from LA OR Orange County. IT'S ONLY RAINING! And now Dallas Raines (have to say his full name) is telling us to "stay inside unless we have to go out." Really, Dallas Raines? Stay inside? Why? For fear that a few measly little raindrops will decide to go rogue and form an all-out attack? I don't get it? IT'S JUST RAINING. Oh, also he tells me it's "really cold out there. So bundle up!" IT'S 51*!!!! 51!! Cold is what the mid-west is facing with the below 0 temps. 51 is not cold, it's "colder than we're used to," but it's not cold.

Then, I get on the road with a bunch of these people who have spent the morning on Storm Watch 2008 listening to Dallas Raines. This is already an anxiety-filled town... the last thing they needed this morning was Dallas Raines talking about rain. Again, folks, road rules don't change just because it's raining. Sure, slow down a little... maybe break a little sooner, but what is up with the swerving? Are you swerving around the little puddles? Because you do realize that your car is larger than those puddles? Relax... look at your knuckles... they're snow-white from gripping the steering wheel. Yes, your child can see the rain hitting your car, you don't need to continue to point to it as though it's a blink-or-you'll-miss phenomenon.

And then you hear about the severity of the weather all the livelong day. "Man, it's POURING out there!" No, it's raining. Just raining. Pouring is when you have to pull over because you can't see no matter the speed of your wipers. "This weather makes me want to snuggle with my blanket and watch Love Actually as I sip on hot chocolate." Got nothing cynical to say about that... that sounds nice. "This weather is weird. It's kinda like end-of-the-world weather." Who did you get that idea from? Dallas Raines? IT'S RAINING!! We are not dying! It's only water. It is not infested with an unknown virus. It's just raining. Breathe. It's only rain. This too shall pass.

And it seems as though some people have taken Dallas Raines up on his offer. Because out of the 25 people who work here, 1/5 of them did not come in yesterday or today. "The rain made them sick." Really?! The rain made you sick? What happened? Did you sleep out in the rain all night? And even if you did, do you honestly believe that the rain is what made you sick? Really? I mean, don't you think Seattle-ites (Seattle-ins? what is it?) would be in a constant state of "ill" if RAIN is what makes us sick. Seriously, folks. IT'S JUST RAINING! Oh, but the dear in my office swears the rain gave her a migraine for 2 days. Yes, a 2-day migraine from the rain. (I happen to think it's because of all the chocolate she's been inhaling, but I'm no doctor). So today is her first day back after the rain-induced migraine. She loves details, so at 8:45 am this morning she tells me exactly how she's been treating this headache. First she says, "... even Dallas Raines says this weather can get you sick..." WHOA! Whoa! Whoa! Dallas Raines? Who the hell is this man and why is everyone acting like he's some all-knowing god? He's a weatherman... on the morning news... who explains what the colors on the screen mean and he pushes his hands around thin air to try to show which direction this "storm" is moving. And he READS A PROMPTER! Anyway, back to the 2-day, rain-induced migraine. So Dallas Raines confirms that indeed this is the worst form of migraine to have. So she laid in bed for 2 days straight and took "800mg of IBM every 6 hours." Really?! IBM? Well, honey, that explains your migraine. It's not the rain that caused it... anyone who swallows computers and printers to treat a headache is going to heighten the pain. Welcome back.

But now she's perplexed. "What do I do with my umbrella now," she asks. "It's really wet and I don't want to keep it closed in case it gets moldy, but you know what they say about opening umbrellas indoors." What are we? 7 years old? As she walks off, umbrella dripping, she turns and says, "Hey, Andrea! What do I do when my car glidroplanes? Or is is skidroplanes? Is it best to brake before or after?" Huh?! Glidroplane? Skidroplane? I don't know. "You know, when your car like glides in the water puddles." HYdroplane... she meant hydroplane. That question totally helped me understand the swerving around the water puddles thing: people here don't know how to drive in the rain. They just don't. And unfortunately, until Dallas Raines tells them how to, they may never.

"Want a Thing-a-ma-bob? I got 20!"

Twenty (20) things about me that may (or may not) surprise you:

1. i like to read news on news.bbc.co.uk. every day. more than once a day.
2. i'm crazy about fonts. the good ones.
3. i still don't consider myself a california girl. don't know if i ever will.
4. i like country music. but i don't like songs about ticks, the fans or badonkadonks. (i don't even know if i spelled that correctly).
5. i also don't like songs about thongs, cisco! but that's not country.
6. i've read the first few books of the Left Behind series. hahaha. ya... i laughed too.
7. most of my travels occur in my head... in the wishing region of my head. if i had lots of money, they would occur more in reality.
8. my room is messy right now. matter of fact, my car is too. (sorry, mom and dad - it's not you.)
9. i cry - about sad things - about happy things - about average things. it's a way i express. and i don't apologize for it. and it's not a girl thing.
10. i don't think there's anything about me - anything i've done, anything i've said, anything i've felt or feel - that at least one person on this earth does not know. anything. unless i don't know yet.
11. cats are not my favorite.
12. i l-o-v-e writing with an ultra fine point Sharpie pen.
13. i have two (2) friends in my life i would consider my SOULmates.
14. sometimes i whine. i don't like it when i do. in fact, sometimes i punish myself when i do by sending me to my room to sit on my bed and think about a better way to respond. then i apologize to myself and move on.
15. apologizing is healing for me.
16. i have a very, very uncomfortable bed. one time i whined about it.
17. my senior year in high school i was elected "best smile." but then the yearbook came out and the picture they showed under "Best Smile" is HORRIBLE. my eyes are almost closed and my smile look like i'm talking and smiling at the same time. oh, and my eyebrows are like an inch thick.
18. when someone says "where should we eat?" and i say, "it doesn't matter." i really mean, "it doesn't matter." it's not a mind game. promise.
19. i'm eight (8) minutes late to work every day.
20. i have a list of things to do before i die. it's not as morbid as it sounds. some people call them "long-term goals."

I Don't Get It

"You don't get what?" you're asking. This:

1. When people put window stickers of their families on cars. I especially don't get it when they put each family member's name below the corresponding cartoon-y stick figure with their last name sprawled over the top. And don't get me started on the pets.




2. When people say something like, "It's a shame that nobody has snatched you up yet." Ummm... I don't get it. Who or what exactly did you just shame?

3. The Christmas... excuse me... the Holiday decor at my work. I have 5 events over the next two weeks and somehow I was given the task of making sure all of the clubhouses were decorated this week because "I have good style." And let me remind you that this community is made up of very nice, expensive and classy homes. Sounds fun, right? Well, like 50 bins of decor was dropped off in my office to use. It seriously looks like we all went through our junk drawers and dumped them in these bins. So this is what I have to use... TO DECORATE CLUBHOUSES! I have to. And yesterday, this put me in a bad mood (well, I let it put me in a bad mood) when I had to decorate this HUGE (ginormous) wreath - or as my co-worker would say, "reef." They handed me the wreath along with the "items" to decorate it. These items consisted of: a string of gold beads/leaves long enough to stretch around 1/3 of the wreath, a string of bright red and green jewel-y beads to stretch across another 1/3 and a bunch of little pixie things to just stick around the stupid wreath - some that look like glittered gifts, some that look like flat, gold grapes, some that look like a bouquet of holly... you get the picture. And that's it. That's it??? What the hell am I supposed to do with all this crap? So we have a beautiful room with gorgeous wood floors, huge elaborate chandeliers and a big 'ol tacky wreath hangin on the wall. I don't get it.

4. Why people still come to work when they're sick... coughing on everything, snotting on everything, hacking. I get you're a hard worker and you feel okay enough to work, but now it's two weeks later and we're ALL sick. And then, when someone else decides to stay home, you say proudly, "I still came in when I was sick."

5. Ugg boots. I don't get it. Especially when you wear them with your mini-skirt.

6. Why Kenny Chesney keeps winning Entertainer of the Year at the CMAs. Why?? I don't get it.

7. Why people tell me I look like this when I put on my glasses. I don't get it.

Reminder

This morning I was watching the news as the chill in the air was coming through my open window on this beautiful autumn morning. I loved it. Then I saw that this weekend the temperatures were going to be 90+. Then I remembered what I wrote last year around this time.

I'm It!

I've been tagged by Phil... see!


So, here I go. 7 random/weird facts about me:
1. In the morning when I'm getting ready for work, I love to turn on Good Morning America. Sometimes if it's boring, I'll turn it to the Today show, but I prefer Diane Sawyer and the gang. I learn a lot that first hour of the morning.
2. I only check my work emails 3 times a day. It took awhile to get used to, but I can get so much more done this way... it forces me to be less reactive and my emails become a task, not an interruption. My team knows that if it's an emergency, they need to come to my office or call me because I only get the emails at 9am, 12pm and 4pm. The only exception is when I'm waiting on someone to email me something that I need to do my task.
3. I had kidney surgery years ago and have an 8 inch scar to prove it... a very straight line that goes around my waist.
4. Sometimes when I can't focus at work, I'll play one of those games that's supposed to help your brain. It actually works most of the time, but sometimes it's annoying because I'll see math equations or will be unscrambling words in my head for the rest of the day.
5. I love football season. I love college football (Big 12 especially... go Aggies!) and NFL. I will Tivo a Cowboys game and watch the entire thing by myself. I will cheer out loud, I will talk to the TV, I will get mad if we turnover the ball, and I will be a ball of anxiety if it's a "good" game.
6. "Save the best for last" is a theme I live by... but not on purpose. In everything I do... eating - I like to save the best bite for last; at work - I like to save my favorite project for last; at Disneyland - I like to save the best ride for last; and on and on.
7. Okay. I'm going to admit something... something that very few people know about me. I honestly don't care if you judge me. I LOVE Dancing With the Stars... like, LOVE it! I think it is so entertaining. That's not the embarrassing part (well, maybe a little). Here it is: I am that emotional viewer that the producers strive to entertain. I am so glad there is not some secret live webcam recording me as I watch it... seriously. This week as I was watching it, I became aware of how incredibly nerdy I am. I found myself on the edge of my couch with this ridiculously huge smile on my face, or I'd laugh a loud boisterous laugh as though I'm right there, I'd applaud with excitement and cheer for my favorites... seriously - SO nerdy! I wish I was a star only so I could be on that show. Judge away!

I'm not a rule follower, so I'm not going to tag 7. I'm only going to tag Alissa, Kristyn, Greg and Vanessa. You guys can do it if you want to.

Okay... seriously!

1. OJ Simpson is on trial
2. We are at war in the Middle East
3. 90210 has just started (again)
4. Bush is president
5. New Kids on the Block just came out with a new album

WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

THAT was awkward

I've had a couple of awkward moments recently that are worth sharing:

1. A young man (late 20's??) was in front of me in line at the grocery store. He pulled out his wallet to pay and I noticed something fall out of his wallet. He didn't notice, so on my way down to pick it up for him I say, "Oops! You dropped something! Here." As I handed him the dropped item, I noticed it was a condom and I said, "Oh... umm... here. Awkward." What made it more awkward is that he darted out and didn't say anything. Not even "thanks!"

2. One day a while ago I was crying at home; I had to leave so I went to grab tissue to take to the car with me only to find out I was out of tissue. What's the next best thing? Toilet paper. So I take a roll of toilet paper to the car with me and when I was done crying, I stashed it in my glove box. Then a few weeks ago I had a friend in the car with me who was having "tummy issues." She had to make a pit-stop at the drugstore for some Imodium while we were in my car. She took her pill, "tummy issue" was solved and shoved the box in my glove box... and forgot it when she left. Ya... you see where this is going. So the other day I had someone in my car (who I don't know that well). He was helping me fix something in my car and I told him to check the Owner's Manual that was where? In my glove box. I'm sitting in the driver's seat. He opens my glove box and in slow motion I see the box of Imodium fall into his hands, followed by my 1/4 roll of toilet paper. He looks at me, Imodium and toilet paper in hands, confused (rightfully so!) I quickly respond, "oh, the Imodium is not mine and the toilet paper is here because I was crying and I had no tissue... I promise." He just chuckled... I mean, could I sound any more defensive? He lays the items in his lap and then reaches for the Owner's Manual. As he pulls it out, my entire stash of feminine products fall out with it. I look at it all laying at his feet and just say, "Oh. Here. I'll get those." He just sat there as I picked each one off the floor. "Well... this is awkward," I said as I closed the glove box.

See - told you it was worth it!

Be a Fly on My Wall

I've told you before about how the Communication Manager, Lisa*, at my office always says things wrong. Let me tell you a conversation that occurred yesterday:

Lisa walks in on a meeting my boss and I were having and said, "I feel so frazzered today."
(Translation: "I feel so frazzled today.")
When she was corrected, she said, "Oh. Huh... I've always thought it was frazzered. Oh well."
We chuckle.
Then she says, "I don't know what the deal is; I just can't seem to get my work on."
(Translation: "I can't seem to focus.")
Boss laughs and says: "That's not something I want to hear."
Lisa: "Oh, don't act like you've never been flazzered." She looks at me. "Did i say it right?"
We laugh and correct her as she walks off.
As she's walking off she says, "What does that really mean anyway?"


*to protect her privacy, the name has been changed. ;)

Does this mean I'm stressed?

So, let's enter my world for a sec: I have a big event in 3 weeks. I'm moving this weekend. I'm visiting my sister for a couple of days this weekend. (Yes, I will be gone during the "move." This is more stressful than it sounds because this means that I MUST get it all done before I leave 'cause I can't do it as we're moving). I had a blowout on sunday. Took my car in the shop on monday to get it fixed where I was told I actually have to get 3 tires. My roommate's car completely died on her yesterday. **Breathe.** As you can see, I'm a little stressed.

Then this happened...

When I'm having a stressful day/week, I make sure that I do things for myself, like get a pedicure, rent a movie, treat myself to a fancy coffee drink. Today I chose the latter. So after work, I get my drink; I get back in my car. Put it in reverse. But wait... it won't go in reverse!! What??!! "NOT NOW," I screamed. Is it stuck? Let me pull harder! OH MY GOSH MY CAR IS STUCK! I can't go backwards! I can't even go forward! What the crap?! I start to panic as I opened my door and grab my keys from the ignition. Huh... where are my keys? They're not in the ignition. OOOOHH... they're sitting quietly on my lap. OOOOHHH... that's why it wouldn't go in reverse. Nice.

Probably the stupidest thing I've EVER done... but I'm chalkin it up to stress.

Local News Shame

The NBC Channel 4 News team in LA makes no excuses for their motive... they don't even try to hide it.

1. They make it clear why they hired the weather girl. 'Cause there's nothing that says, "hey guys, tune in to watch our weather girl," quite like this commercial.




2. They also make it clear why they hired the news team. 'Cause there's nothing that says, "we're a bunch of bad-asses" quite like this commercial.



No wonder ABC news is the most watched here.

Two of a Kind

You know the One Republic/Timbaland song, Apologize? You know... the one that came out close to a year ago that was really good and then radio began to play it back-to-back, over and over again; they performed it on every Awards Show, Talk Show, Late Night Show that exists? And finally you said "Okay! We get it! It's too late to 'pologize!" You know which one I'm talking about, right?

And you've heard me mention the dear that works in my office. You know, the guy who likes to sing his flavor-of-the-month song over and over again, but he doesn't want to sing it too loud so as to not disturb anyone, so he does the Whisper-singing thing? You know, the whisper-singing thing that's not really whispering and it's not really singing? It's just kinda... annoying, breathy tones? And, you know, this is the same guy who likes to beat his fingers, hands, feet, elbows, WHATEVER he can on the desk, floor, book, monitor, WHATEVER he can to the beat (or close to the beat) of the song. You remember this guy, right?

Ya, these two just met today.

Really?!

2 days ago - on July 30 - I saw a commercial that had Santa as the main character (who recognized it was summer by wearing a Hawaiian shirt). Really?!

Just Some Random Stuff

• I really like that I live in one of the best climates in the world. It's been PERFECT lately. Love it.
• About 4-5 months ago I learned that I'm allergic to certain foods that happen to be in everything (like wheat/gluten and corn, among others). I've avoided blogging about it because I was in the process of accepting that my eating style has completely changed (and grieving that I can't have foods that I want sometimes). I'm now the "picky" eater that is hard to eat out with and I found myself being kinda insecure about it. However, I'm now at a place where I am totally okay with it - mainly because I feel SO much better. But it's changed my mind about food (again!) in general - I eat to fuel my body.
• If anyone tells you that you don't really get that wet on Splash Mountain, they're lying. I got drenched. And was dramatic about it.
  
• I learned something new about me this week - well, I knew it about me, but I actually heard it and felt it this week - BREAKTHROUGH. It is in these broken moments when I discover how precious my heart is.
• Cathi and I are moving next month... right next door. The new condo is more updated... by like 20 years! And I am SOO excited!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Take a Stroll With Me

Today :

I woke up later than usual.
Listened to church online. Very good.
Completed some domestic duties.
Watched (off and on) an interesting show on National Geographic about Antarctica.
Updated my itunes by importing old cd's while doing the above.
Listened to: Amos Lee, A Fine Frenzy, Ray LaMontagne, Coldplay and Patty Griffin while doing most of the above.
Which obviously put me in a mellow mood.
Cleaned up and got ready for the day. Finally.
To hang out with myself. Lovely.
Once cabin fever set in, I headed to the Spectrum.
I drove slow. Still mellow.
Grabbed a fancy coffee. My treat.
Tried on a few things.
Bought one thing.
Walked into Anthropologie. Immediately inspired.
"i want... i want... i want," I said continuously.
Reminded myself of who I am. Smiled.
I left wishing the store designer to be my friend.
Remembered my friends. Smiled again.
Enjoyed the perfect weather as I strolled to my car.
Drove home. Slowly.
Walked in the empty house. Roommate's out of town.
Turned on the lamp. Simple light is the best.
Made a veggie omelet. Delicious.
Sat on my comfy couch to tell you about my day.
And thanked me for hanging out with me today.
It was a delightful day.

10 Things I Love About You

I was thinking today about how much I like my roommate, Cathi. So I wrote a Top Ten list in honor of her.

10 Things I Love About Cathi:
1. We have intellectually-stimulating conversations.
2. We have dumb conversations that include phrases like, "it's all volumed."
3. She can laugh at herself.
4. She tries hard not to laugh at me when I fall on by butt at Blockbuster for no reason at all.
5. She can recreate the Love Song Medley scene in Moulin Rouge with me (we both play both parts).
6. She's a great listener.
7. The way she talks about Ned, our plant... well, not technically "our" plant.
8. She doesn't like the pink hue on the walls of our new place either.
9. The way she says "I'm sorry" when I tell her about my bad day.
10. That she's not super giddy, talkative or a ball of energy in the morning.

I Broke the Law

Today in California is the first day you can't talk on a cell phone while driving unless you are using a handsfree device - like a bluetooth. Ya... I've broken the law a few times today.

And while I'm on it... I don't mean to get technical, but I saw a lady holding up the cord with the phone mic on it while driving... not exactly handsfree. I mean if you hold up the cord, you might as well hold up the phone. I've never understood that.

So You Think You Can... Shut up!

I enjoy watching So You Think You Can Dance. And while I feel like I need to rationalize that to prove that I'm still cool, I'll refrain. Mary Murphy (in the pic) is a judge on this show and every time she comes on, I have to mute it. Her voice is the most absolutely annoying thing to listen to. As if the shrieking tone isn't enough, she has to yell things like "YOU HAVE JUST BOUGHT YOURSELVES TWO FIRST-CLASS TICKETS ON THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN! WAAAAOOOOOOOO!" All in one breath. And don't get me started on the laugh.

This video though makes me laugh... Mary makes The Soup often (another great show).

What Was That?

Here is my list of Top Ten worst lyrics... ever. As you read them, remember someone wrote them and said "perfect!" Someone else listened to it and said "yes." And quite possibly a third person heard it and said "I want to record that." And then YOU bought it and sang along. What I'm saying is that multiple people thought it was good before you heard it and cringed. (side note: I'm not saying I hate the song, I just don't like this particular lyric. Some songs I do hate though. ahem... Fergie... ahem)

10. Wake me up before you go go/ Don't leave me hangin on like a yo-yo." Wake Me Up, WHAM!

9. God must have spent a little more time on you. N'Sync (or Backstreet Boys... one of 'em)

8. Fergilicious definition make them boys go loco. Fergilicious, Fergie

7. You're on my heart just like a tattoo/ I'll always have you. Tattoo, Jordin Sparks

6. Whatcha gonna do with all that breast/All that breast inside your shirt. My Humps, BlackEyed Peas

5. Between the red cells and white/ Somethin's not right Sara Beth, Rascall Flatts

4. I don't like cities, but I like New York/ Other places make me feel like a dork. I Love New York, Madonna

3. Let me see that tho-o-ong/ Thong th thong, thong thong. The Thong Song, Cisco (now admit it, you totally sang along)

2. 'Cause my swag is serious/ Somethin heavy like a first-day period. Feedback, Janet Jackson

and the #1 WORST lyric ever. I almost go into a full rage if I hear it:

1. And I miss you like a child misses its blanket. Big Girls Don't Cry, Fergie

What are your least favorite lyrics??

Hey Smart One

In case you didn't know what to do at the counter along the wall in the restroom with the silver water faucets and big white bowl-like thingys which also contain a lever that once you pull, pink smelly-good stuff comes out... Disneyland (on behalf of Sparkle) has provided you with helpful instructions.

Stop and Stare

Sometimes when I feel like someone is staring at me too long, I say "What?" in my head... especially when it's strangers.

Today I kept running into this lady at Target who kept staring at me down every single aisle... like STARING. After the 5th time, I exclaim "What?" in my head... but it accidentally came out of my mouth too. I felt like such a jerk.

Happy Birthday, Alissa

Today my sweet sister turns... one year older! I wish I was with her to celebrate... but I'm not. Instead she is with her incredible husband, Greg, and the cutest little 1 year old boy in the world, Luke... and they are with... drumroll, please... the little peanut inside her belly! That's right, my sister is preggers again! She is nearing the end of her first trimester, so please keep her in your prayers. It's hard to believe that Luke is going to be a big brother! We are all very happy!

Anyway... Alissa, in honor of your birthday - this blog's for you!


When Alissa was a baby, I... was jealous that she had blond hair and that she was a baby and I was a "big girl." (yes i remember that even though i'm only 1 year older.)
I was told that I... potty-trained Alissa. Mom says that I would make her go to the potty when I had to go and "showed" her how to potty. Then when she went, I made sure I was in there to sing the "Hooray for Going Potty" song. I still know it.
One of my favorite things about Alissa from our childhood... was sharing a bed with her... for 16 years!!! Her hands are so soft and every night when she would fall asleep (it seemed like she always fell asleep before me) I used to love to hold her soft hand while I fell asleep. Then as we got older, we would sometimes lay awake for hours talking. And then we would fall asleep and she would spend her time stealing covers, kicking me, hitting me and breathing in my face.
Alissa, I'm sorry... that I was the one that told you about Santa. And for making you lift me in all of our synchronize swimming routines. And for being bossy. And for pulling your hair to the ground for stealing my bubbles. And for hitting you when you wore my scrunchie in the ocean. And for making fun of you when you made your angry face (you know... the one with the tongue). And for discouraging you in times when I should have been encouraging. And for being selfish. And for being judgmental. And for not listening well when we were younger. And for not accepting responsibility. And that I live so far away. And that I didn't say "I'm sorry" enough.
That was funny when... mom would tell us a thousand times to stop talking and go to sleep, then she would finally come in and spank us with our face buried in the pillow pretending to cry when we were really laughing. Dad would tie our hands together when we weren't getting along so we were forced to deal with one another (thanks for passing the toilet paper). When you held your claws in Jason's face and said "you want me to do it to you too?" When you fell down the stairs as you were trying to impress that really serious guy. When your prom date picked you up in that 1985 limo.
I really like that... I have a sister that everyone loves and respects. Seriously! She is one of the sweetest, most gentle persons you will ever meet (but knows how to be feisty). She strives to be the best woman, wife and mom she can be (and succeeds!). I don't know a single soul that does not like my sister. And she is worth every ounce of love that people have for her.
By now, I hope you know... that I can still beat you up. That I really don't know it all. That you are a fantastic mommy! That you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! How much I look up to you. That I am always here for you. That I consider you one of my best friends. That I wish we lived closer to one another. That you have a great husband and the sweetest little boy. That you are a great wife. That I love you SO SO SO SO much! Oh, and that I will always beat you in Phase 10 ('cause it's about strategy).

I hope that you have a wonderful birthday and I know that this is going to be a GREAT year for you!!

a letter to my pedicurist

Dear Julie,

Ummm... my toe does not bend that way; it actually hurts. Could you please stop forcing it? Oh, and I'd also appreciate it if you stop laughing when I wince from the pain... it's not funny.

Other than that I am very pleased with my experience with you.

Your faithful customer,
Andrea

Brotherly Love

My brother, Jason, and I went to Disneyland after work the other day and had a blast. His favorite was the Casey Jr. Circus Train and the churro; my favorite was watching the middle-aged man nonchalantly sing in the Tiki Room and of course the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters:



As you can see, I dominated. And as you can see, I was really intense. Way to go, Space Ranger!

The lines to all the fun rides were way too long. But then Jason informed me that he is more of a "hanger-outer" at D-land anyway, while I seem to be more of a "rider" so we compromised and rode rides with short lines that facilitated his need to "hang out." And we had a photo session while riding The Casey Jr Circus Train and the Dumbo ride:


This is a GREAT picure of Jason. Too bad I look like I'm a freak.


If you know Jason at all - you will appreciate the awesomeness of him here.


At first my favorite part of this was his eyes; now I think I'm going to go with the tongue.



We're so chill... well, he looks like he has a string pulling up his lip.


The Dumbo Ride is so scary!


Aww...

Love you, Jason! (even though I don't think you ever read this...)

First Time for Everything

This is my nephew,Luke, during his first trip to Disneyland about a month ago. We were watching the parade and he was SOO freaking cute... he didn't know what to do with all the big floats and dancers. This was my favorite pic - he was clapping.












And this was him right after he took a nap with me...
another favorite.

That Did NOT Just Happen...

That is what I was saying to myself over and over in my head for about 15 minutes in a dressing room on Saturday. The reality is - it DID just happen. Now that I have (somewhat) recovered, I will share with you.

On Saturday I had some "Andrea-time" (which is very fun, by the way) and decided to stop in at a little boutique. I stepped behind the dressing room curtain in the middle of the store to try on some clothes. As I was stepping into a pair of pants, I lost my balance and had to step back to catch myself. I'm not sure what happened next; I think I stepped onto my jeans, or my belt, or my shoes (maybe all three). All I know is that I tripped, falling backwards, through the curtains and ended up sprawled out. On the storeroom floor. In just my bra and underwear. And I mean I was sprawled! I screamed on my down which attracted more attention. I saw at least six pairs of eyes looking at me... one of which was a male. Nobody knew what to do except gasp, say "oh my god" over and over and/or quietly giggle. I sat, no I layed sprawled not knowing what to do. The store manager started walking toward me and said "Are you okay?" (she was trying her best to hide a smile, bless her heart). I thought in that moment that standing was the worst thing I could do being that I was NAKED and didn't want to attract more attention... so I quickly scooted/crab-crawled back behind the curtains. I regret that decision - the scooting part. Then I sat in the stool in the dressing room for the next 15 minutes with my face in my hands. Once I had the courage, I stepped out, waved, bought a few items and walked out with my head held high. At least I had on cute panties.

I've Got Nothin

There have been no posts because I've been busy... and uninspired. But I think I'm uninspired because I'm busy. I had an event last weekend that 25,000+ people attended. It was fun... for the participants... but for the planner (me) it was stressful. Especially considering we were expecting 12,000ish. So, ALL of my creative energy went into that event and the next big one I'm working on. I'm still exhausted. And I need to be inspired. Then I will post a "real" post. For now, I've got nothin.

ps- I actually have really good pictures from when I went to Alaska, but I can't find my dang USB cord. I will find it or buy a new one... ugh, one more thing to do.

I've Been Thinking...

- My room is a DISASTER. It should be seriously recorded in the Book of Disasters. I don't think it's EVER looked like this... EVER. I have my excuses, but I won't bore you with those. And I would take a picture to prove it, but I have too much pride. It will be spotless before this weekend.

- In case you don't know, American Idol's Jason Castro is from my hometown of Rockwall, TX and grew up in the same church I did. I don't remember him (he's a bit younger too), but his family came out here over Easter and had lunch with my family (minus me)... they remembered each other. Then Jason (my brother) got to go to the results show a couple of weeks ago as one of his "friends." Yes, he was on tv. I wasn't invited and I pouted for a little bit. SO, keep voting for him not only because he's really talented, but also because he's a great guy - great character... and then you can say "I know someone who knows the new American Idol." And then you'll be cool.

- I just saw this guy I work with trip outside. He didn't fall, just tripped off the curb. and it was really funny. Yes, I laughed; no I'm not insensitive. I just like to chuckle at anything that's obviously overlooked. Now he's "singing" the guitar runs of Led Zeppelin... so annoying... I'm not laughing.

- I really like my roommate, Cathi. Because of our schedules, I sometimes go days without really seeing her, but then I do and I like it.

- Saying goodbye to this little guy's face is always really hard. Sad. I had such a blast with him when he and my sister visited. He is growing so much and is SO smart. I can tell he's going to be really funny too... he likes making people laugh. I miss him.


- I got a Disneyland Pass last month!! Yay! My dad bought it for me which was very sweet. I've already gone 4 times since I've had it. If you would like to go, there is about an 82% chance that I would like to join you.

- I think one of the worst pains ever is a hang-nail. Ouch!

- I was speaking with a friend who has recently been through a really tough time. She's in the "stage" of healing where it just hurts and there's nothing she can do about it. I have been through my own heartaches and healing processes, so she asked "what do you think is the most important part to healing?" Good question... and it may differ with everyone, but this is what I've learned (and am continuously learning): I think the most important thing is to just let myself hurt. Every part of my nature tries to convince me that feeling hurt, anger, sadness, confusion, etc is "bad" so I do whatever I can to "feel" happy and positive, meanwhile I'm burying my pain under the fakeness (just pretend that's a word). I have to expose the wound, let it sting as it's cleaned before it can even begin to heal... sometimes I have to expose it over and over. My suggestion? Let yourself be present with your pain - equally in head and in heart. Just be. Your heart will get rid of it when it's ready... it may not be in your timing and it may force you to deal with more, but you won't feel like this forever if you actually deal with it. Accept the fact that you're living with pain for right now, be intentional about listening to your heart and allow yourself to feel the pain. Repeat. Oh, one more thing! Find people in your life that can be present in your pain with you and let them love you there.

- What is up with spam? I hate it. I have an email address that I give out to places when I think they may sell it to others so I expect that inbox to be flooded with spam. I have another email address, however, that I ONLY give out to people with whom I will be corresponding with. So why am I starting to suddenly get spam there? It's so frustrating!

- Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign on my car that says "Your are welcome to pull out in front of me!"

- Now the guy I work with is whisper-singing Beat It... as if we can't all hear him. If he doesn't stop soon, I'm gonna beat him.

House of Many Colors

Sometimes I house-sit for people while they're on vacation. It's a great way to earn a little extra cash while taking care of dogs, watering plants, checking the mail, picking tomatoes or any other random thing they have me do. Most recently I stayed at what I call "The House of Many Colors." I had to share them (the colors) with you. (Keep in mind that their youngest child is a senior in high school and is the only one still living with mom and dad.)

DOWNSTAIRS
Entry Way and Den - Medium Tan
Formal Dining - Dark Purple
1/2 Bath - Lavendar
Kitchen - Burnt Red
Living Room - Burnt Red and White
Bedroom 1 - Olive Green (w/ Teal bedding)

Not too bad, right? But wait...

UPSTAIRS
Hallway - Light Tan w/ Dark Clay accents
Master Bedroom - Olive Green
Master Bath - Olive Green with Tan accents
Laundry Room - Pure Eggshell White
Office - Periwinkle
Bedroom 2 - Princess Purple
Bedroom 3 - Donald Duck Blue
TV Room - 80's Downtown Miami Art Deco Teal
Bathroom - I couldn't tell you because I was blinded when I walked in. Seriously. I think it had a florescent green tone... but I honestly couldn't tell you.

(ps - I changed my settings so you don't have to have a google account to comment, but you do have to enter in the handy-dandy secret security code. So, comment away!)

I Have Some Big News

I didn't want to say anything until it was confirmed, but... I'M MOVING from California to HERE!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! More details to come!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE you all!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY LUKE!!

Happy Birthday, Luke! I can't believe that you are already a year old. I hope your day is so special. I wish I could look into your big brown eyes everyday and tell you how loved you are by me (I'll settle for the computer cameras though!) I pray daily that you know and believe your loved and valued by many, most importantly your Heavenly Father; and I pray that that belief will allow you to experience so much joy, growth and security throughout your life. We are going to have SO much fun on our visits to see each other (I can't wait for our one-on-one times where we build forts, jump on the bed and load up on sugar... but we won't tell mommy). I love you so much... I think I'm the proudest aunt that exists! Can't wait to see you soon!!


Just 6 weeks old!


One of my favorite things in the world!


Another one of my favorite things in the world!


Look how smart you are!


And how BIG you are!

I LOVE YOU!

Don't Have a Cow!

I read this post from my friend Courtney's blog and it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend recently. My friend is a vegetarian for "moral reasons." (FYI - the intent of this post is to entertain you; I will not give my opinion on the beef-making process.)

I was telling my friend that some of my favorite memories were at my Granddad's ranch. There was so much space (about 100 acres): the forest area was beautiful, the ponds were fun to look for water moccasins, riding around on 4-wheelers was fun with my siblings (Billy used to scare the s%!* out of me on those), walking to the edge of the property to see if we could find prancing deer, peeing my pants because I couldn't make it all the way back to the house and I was too embarrassed to go in front of my brothers, climbing trees, accidentally stepping in "cow patties," my grandma's attempt at singing to wake us up, going on the tractor with my granddad to feed the cows at 5:30am- it was all great fun. Being sensitive to my friend's feelings, I left out the fact that we loved to go fishing and that my uncle taught us how to shoot rifles and shotguns out there.

So my friend asks, "did you ride horses?" Ummmm... the thing is, my grandad didn't have horses; he raised cows - the very thing she is VEHEMENTLY against! How do I say this? Oh well, no matter what, she will be offended. "Actually he didn't really have horses." Please don't ask! Please don't ask!
"Oh. But you had cows?"
Crap... "Ya! They just kind of hung out all day. I even got to watch one give birth," I say to try to steer the conversation.
"What did he do with the cows?" She's no dummy... she knows where this is going. I just gotta say it.
I nervously answered, "My granddad took really good care of the cows throughout their entire life. He fed them good food, let them graze his grass all day, let them just lie around and "moo." Then when it was time for them to move on, he would sell them so that they could make really good beef and stuff because they were taken care of so well."
With small tears in her eyes she replies, "Andrea, you don't have to skirt around it. Just say, 'My granddad fattened up cows so he could make money as they were sent off to the slaughterhouse to die for no purpose but feed people things they think they need."
"Well, geez... if that's how you want to think about it..."

Dear Spider

Dear spider,

I think it is amazing that you know how to build a beautiful, nearly invisible web; and it amazes me that this web is meant to capture those insects dumb enough to fly or crawl into it so that you can enjoy torturing them as you wrap them in a tight woven blanket, keep them sitting there, helpless, for all the insect world to point at and say, "look at that idiot... walked right into it." Then you devour it... I'm not judging - this actually makes me respect you... fear you, even.

I'm not sure if you've figured this out yet, but when a human walks through it, we don't get stuck. Now, maybe you enjoy watching us flail about as we struggle to get your invisible, sticky "strings" off of us while still making sure you are not on us, but I'm sure it pisses you off that we have ruined your beautifully designed architecture and quite possibly, your meal. I messed up your design last night as I was walking to my door and this morning as I was leaving. I know; I see that you tried to move it to a different place so I wouldn't mess it up again, but remember that it is invisible to the naked human eye. So, I have a suggestion so that we both win. Could you weave this up a few feet in front of it?

Thanks and enjoy my front porch!
Andrea

My Rolling Eyes

A few posts ago, I made a list of things that never fail to make me smile. Here is a list of 22 things that never fail to make my eyes roll:

1. Cheesy pick up lines
2. When someone tells me how I should/shouldn't feel
3. When someone says "we need to get you married."
4. When someone learns I live in Orange county and asks, "do you know any of the real housewives of Orange County?"
5. When someone learns I'm from Texas and they say something that they think sounds "redneck" in a stupid Texas accent.
6. When vocalists talk in their songs (ahem... Fergie)
7. Kanye West

8. Arrogance (see #7)

9. When girl's say "I'm a princess!"

10. When someone talks to me like I'm 12.

11. Local news
12. Dirty jokes
13. People who insist on one-upping anyone and everyone.
14. When Randy says, "so, yo dawg, yo dawg. listen up. listen up..." on American Idol
15. When a co-worker throws someone else under the bus to avoid taking responsibility for something not getting done.
16. When I go running and people try to scare me as they drive by.
17. When I go running and I smile and say "hi" to the runner/walker I'm passing and they look away.
18. When someone interrupts and says "Sorry to interrupt, but..." I'd rather you say "I'm going to interrupt."
19. My dad's "3-legged Pig" joke. Seriously... don't ask him to tell it in front of me.
20. When people use God as an excuse to not make a decision (there's a lot more to this one that I'm not going to get into).
21. When girls say "I've always been better friends with guys. I just don't like girls," as though it's a strength.
22. When something is in my eye

Tagged... again

I was tagged, so here you go:

10 years ago:
I was a freshman at Texas A&M University (whoop!) 10 years ago! I can't believe it was really that long ago. The spring semester of my freshman year is when I met those who would be and are still among my best friends. These friendships are what made my college years what they were - seriously some of the best days of my life. I have the best memories with these friends of living together, going to football games, studying at Sweet Eugene's, going on small weekend trips, laughing so hard, devising our next prank on Pat's house, staying up until 3am just talking. We were (and are) there for each other to celebrate with and to cry with. I LOVED those days!

Things on my to-do list today:
Finish the field layout for a big event I'm planning in a few weeks
Prepare the agenda for a meeting with my committee this afternoon
Organize/clean my desk
Meet my friend at the gym to work out
Make dinner and eat it
Do my taxes
Put away my clean clothes
(ugh... Mondays are so boring!)

What would I do if I was suddenly became a Billionaire?
This is hard for me to imagine. I know I would give a large chunk to my friend who is moving to Madagascar, Africa to do some mission work. I would buy a house, invest some, quit my job and travel a bunch (and I would pay for friends to travel with me). I would give to my church and other ministries - especially international ministries that deal with human trafficking.

Three of my bad habits:
1. Clenching my jaw
2. Letting my room get messy when I'm busy
3. Forgetting to get my oil changed (the oil man yelled at me yesterday for this)

Five jobs I have had:
1. Event Planner
2. Product Development Director
3. Office Manager
4. Administrator
5. Nanny

Five things people don't know about me:
1. I have come to really enjoy time with myself - Saturday mornings are my favorite.
2. When I was little I was called Annie - some of my family still calls me this.
3. I am an "actor" in kid's videos that are sold to churches around the world. I've been recognized in strange places which is really creepy. And, no, you will never see these videos.
4. I have become really good at saying 'no' and not feeling bad about it - SO freeing. I used to say yes to everything... and them complain about how busy I was or how much I hated doing what I agreed to do.
5. I have been in 19 weddings (i know) and had a friend that began writing a script entitled "Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride" that was loosely based on this part of my life. When "27 Dresses" came out, he stopped writing it indefinitely.

Now I'll tag 5 people: Allie, Alissa, Courtney W, Julie, Shawna

I'm so freaking smart...

But not as smart as Cathi. She was 6 seconds faster than me. dang.

In 2m 36s

Click here to Play

Can you beat me?

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things 1

These are a few of my favorite things right now... in no particular order. If I was rich and had a tv show, I would give these to you. But I'm not.

1. NARS lipgloss in Greek Holiday - PERFECT color

2. These flowers my sister got me for my birthday - they're gracing my kitchen table

3. Trader Joe's Goat Cheese Pizza - YUMMY! I crave this all the time.

4. Aveida Hand Relief

5. The iphone - even though I don't have one... yet.

I Do NOT!

Okay... I do NOT look like Winnie Cooper...




And I do NOT look like Tina Fey...



And if anyone tells me that again, I will hit them.

Things that Never Fail to Make Me Smile

(I got the idea for this post on someone else's blog... I just can't remember who it was. So, if it was you, you're more than welcome to take the credit.)

Here are just 34 things that never fail to make me smile (in random order):

1. My nephew, Luke.
2. Joel McHale on The Soup
3. Watching Natalie perform
4. A surprise letter in the mail.
5. When a friend gets pregnant/has a baby, gets engaged/gets married
6. Watching someone discover something new, especially about themselves
7. The Office
8. Crabby old ladies at the Trader Joe's (a whole foods market for you not on the west coast) by my house.
9. Sweet old men at the Trader Joe's by my house.
10. Figuring out clues from Lost
11. A kiss on the forehead.
12. When someone decides to let down their guard with me.
13. When someone lets me be vulnerable with them even though I'm scared.
14. When I feel pride for who I have become... and am still learning to be.
15. The love I feel for my friends and family.
16. The love I feel from my friends and family.
17. When I'm told I'm funny.
18. When someone falls and is not hurt (even if it's me).
19. When I hear a parent tell their child "I'm so proud of you."
20. Sunny days
21. Falling asleep to rain
22. Finishing a good book
23. A long, quiet morning (with coffee)
24. When I sense God's very real presence
25. When I hear a good song that reminds me of my childhood... like, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"
26. When I hear a stupid song that reminds me of my childhood... like, "Tonight I Celebrate My Love" (did my mom know that we were memorizing the words w/o knowing the meaning???)
27. When I was a nanny and a child would correct me by reminding me of a lesson I had just taught them.
28. When I'm carded
29. Dreaming of my future
30. When my house is clean (even though I hate the process)
31. When I wake up and remember it's Saturday and I don't have to get up and go to work
32. Going to the beach
33. Stewie and Peter on The Family Guy
34. Alan's puns

What makes you smile?

Instructions

I promise I will be updating soon.

In the meantime, please go to my sister's blog to see how stinkin cute my nephew is.

Which LOST Character Are You?

I'm excited for Lost to start in a couple of weeks. I took a quiz to find out what character I was most like, and well... this is what came up.


Find out Which Lost Character Are You at LiquidGeneration.com!

I have no idea how this is the description that came to be based on the answers I gave... seriously NO idea.
1. I'm not as tough as Kate
2. I'm not as hot as Kate
3. I'm not a pathological liar
4. Yes, deep down in my heart I am a good person... like most people.

I'm a fighter like Kate - but they don't even mention that. I think this quiz is BS is all I'm saying... but I recommend you take it and let us know who you are like. Just don't let it determine who you are... you could be disappointed.

Overheard

Today I overheard the following conversation:

Woman A: "What do you want to eat for lunch?"
Woman B: " I don't know. What do you feel like?"
Woman A: "Maybe a sandwich from Pacific Whey? Does that sound good??"
Woman B: "Hmmm... I don't know. I really have a craving for something.......... I just don't know what."

Ummm... doesn't that just mean she's hungry?

Confession

Sometimes when I'm driving and I'm following directions, I confuse my lefts and my rights.

The good news is that I always end up figuring out my mistake... sometimes before I even make it!

There. I said it.

A Letter to a Celebrity

Dear Tyra,

You are really annoying.

I will admit though that America's Next Top Model would not be the same without you. And I think you have good intentions... I like that about you.

Have a great day,

Andrea

side note - if any of you readers are a mommy, my sister has a question for you at her blog. Could you help her please?

My Daily Entertainment

I am a grammar/vocabulary freak... it's one of few things that I'm anal about. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else, I'm just saying mistakes in this area stand out at me even when I make them. Typically I don't correct people - I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they just messed up. However, I work with someone that is clearly not as anal as I am and has a hard time in this area. I've started correcting her because she says it's okay to... and I gently let her know. But inside I am sometimes DYING laughing... it's so entertaining (in the nicest way possible). Here are a few things she says regularly:

• Futuristically - meaning: thinking ahead
• It's a Christmas reef - instead of wreath
• "He totally threw a conipshit" - instead of conniption fit
• "I've already aten" - instead of eaten
• "After I got my hair did..." - instead of done
• Tooken - instead of 'taken' or 'took' (and when i tried to explain the correction, she didn't know what "past tense" meant)
• "He's very family-orientated" - instead of -oriented
• It's a Good Samariman - instead of Samaritan
• Anytime she sees "misc." she reads it as "mystic" (no lie!)
• (*) is an astridge - instead of asterisk
• She recently said "Why is this the first year they're doing a cackus?" - instead of a caucus (and we had to tell her that caucuses have existed for decades!)
• She can't wait to see the movie, Entonement - instead of Atonement
• Tastistic - instead of statistic
• I don't even know how to spell how she says "wheel barrow"
• She just started eating bre-fast - instead of breakfast
• She always says stuff like "I've been trippin on the internet and came across..." or "hey, wanna bust a lunch?"
• I must mention that she consistently calls me "homey" "sista" "dude" "girlfriend" "g"

Again, she says these all the time - over and over - correcting doesn't work. Here's the best part of all: her job title is Communications Manager. Yep!

Let me also add: she's great and I like her as a person.