Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dear Spider

Dear spider,

I think it is amazing that you know how to build a beautiful, nearly invisible web; and it amazes me that this web is meant to capture those insects dumb enough to fly or crawl into it so that you can enjoy torturing them as you wrap them in a tight woven blanket, keep them sitting there, helpless, for all the insect world to point at and say, "look at that idiot... walked right into it." Then you devour it... I'm not judging - this actually makes me respect you... fear you, even.

I'm not sure if you've figured this out yet, but when a human walks through it, we don't get stuck. Now, maybe you enjoy watching us flail about as we struggle to get your invisible, sticky "strings" off of us while still making sure you are not on us, but I'm sure it pisses you off that we have ruined your beautifully designed architecture and quite possibly, your meal. I messed up your design last night as I was walking to my door and this morning as I was leaving. I know; I see that you tried to move it to a different place so I wouldn't mess it up again, but remember that it is invisible to the naked human eye. So, I have a suggestion so that we both win. Could you weave this up a few feet in front of it?

Thanks and enjoy my front porch!
Andrea

7 comments:

vanessa said...

you are CRAZY hilarious girl!!
walking through a spider web - agree - worst feeling evvver!

Unknown said...

You are such a funny dork. :)

Greg, Alissa, Luke and Jack said...

I'm gonna be mad at you if you made me wake up Luke because I was laughing out loud. :)

Kristyn said...

I am laughing out loud...by myself...in my house.

Shawna said...

Oh - i love your letters!

Julie Hibbard said...

I love spiders!! They are creative and resourceful and such hard workers!!

Angel2 said...

Ugh, just needed me some Ande blogness! I haven't been here in forever. It's like finding a book by your fave author that you've never read- yippee!

Sure do miss you!