Speaking Of...

I'm going to play a fun game and YOU get to... read as I play. You'll figure out the game because you're smart... and if you can't figure it out - then get off my blog.

So it's been VERY stormy... unusually stormy... here in the OC. And you all know how I feel about OC people and rain. I personally love the rain - being from Texas, it's familiar and homey. I will admit that at first I was a little nervous about it, but that lasted, oh until 1 minute after the pouring started. And it's been a blast laughing at people all week who aren't used to it... they even closed down college classes so that the students didn't have to walk in the "pouring rain." PUH-LEASE!! How are these kids going to learn how to take care of themselves? Anyway... so today the rain followed me... literally. I had to go out in the lovely cloudy bliss to run errands for work. I started about 8 miles north of my office. As soon as I parked, it started POURING and little hail balls came from the sky (and of course every facebook status of friends nearby displays "HAIL!!"... with pictures. The hail balls were the size of a pea). I watched and waited for it to let up before walking in the rain. Then I stopped for gas about 3 miles north of my office. For all you non-mathematicians, I drove 5 miles north toward my office... not that that matters. (I've always been incredibly annoying about the details in my story-telling. I've learned to accept it and I encourage you to as well... you'll like me more.) As I'm pumping gas, it started POURING and little hailing again. By the time I left the gas station it stopped. Then I stopped to pick up my lunch right by my office. And as soon as I parked, guess what? Yep, it started POURING and little hailing again. It made me chuckle and want to say aloud "Hi Hail! I JUST saw all your little brothers and sisters up in Mission Viejo! How was your descent?" But I refrained because I remembered they wouldn't be able to answer me and that would get really annoying!

SPEAKING OF hail... when I was in college my 1993 red Pontiac Grand Am got hammered by softball size hail, causing $3000.00 worth of damage. Is that how you say it? $3000.00 worth? It caused damage worth $3000? My insurance company had to pay the body repair shop $3000 to fix it? Which is correct? Oh hail... who cares...



SPEAKING OF my Red Pontiac Grand Am (you're already catching on!)... that thing was a PIECE! At first I thought it was super cool because it looked way better than my 1986 Chevy Nova... but after the 4th alternator in 6 weeks one year, I was over it! I named it Grand-Ma... Get it? Grand-AM... Grand-MA. Because it ran like a Grandma and it was red like a Granny Smith Apple. But then I learned that Granny Smith apples are only green and thank God Grand-Ma wasn't green because then I would have REALLY hated it!

SPEAKING OF Grandmas... I was called a "Bitch" by a Grandma at the grocery store the other day... well, I'm assuming she's a grandma... she was like 80. She ran over me with her cart but stopped while the wheel was still on my foot (she ran it into the shelf which is what stopped it)... and she hung on to the cart. It hurt! So I say patiently "Excuse me, you're on..." Then she sighed loudly and turned her head away from me (but held on to the cart). I kept trying pull my foot out but it wasn't budging. So I say again (with a little less patience) "Umm.. You're on my foot." Nothing. Nada. She just stood there trying to find the beans she was looking for. "Ma'am, you're on my foot!" I say sternly. She then growl-sighed and rolled forward while also rolling her eyes and says, "Bitch!" I didn't say anything. I just sat there with a look of disbelief. I gave Granny the benefit of the doubt while I bent down and gave my foot a little "I care" tlc.

SPEAKING OF TLC (this is fun!)... my old co-worker was on a show on TLC called "This Is Why You're Single." It was kind of like a cheesy intervention show where all of her friends and family waited in a room where she thought she was going to be interviewed. Then they all had to go around and say "______ is why you're single." Then she is supposed to learn from it and go on a blind date the next day and apply what she learned. ISN'T THAT HORRIBLE? What a stupid show.

SPEAKING OF being single... my friend, Megan, is a published author of a book called A Year of Blind Dates. It chronicles her, well... year of blind dates. It's funny, brilliant, honest... a great read! I'm so proud of her! You can order it off of Amazon! Go do it!



SPEAKING OF funny, brilliant, honest and a great read... wasn't this blog post game totally fun?!?!

So.... I'm Back... Maybe... I mean, Kinda...

It's been like a year... I know. And I understand if you've left me and are never coming back. I mean, I think you're incredibly rude if that's the case (give a girl a chance!)... but I understand. And I know that some of you might be expecting an apology... something like: "I'm so sorry I haven't blogged. It's been (enter a meaningless excuse)." Well, I'm sorry to disappoint. There will be no apology. There are many reasons I have not blogged... I don't feel a need to explain it... and I don't feel a need to apologize for it. And I'm not going to make promises to internet-land that I'll write every day, every week or every month. I know what I WANT to do, and that's that. So, now that we're all on the same page...

I was going to write a blog catching you up on my life since my last post. But, I'm not going to do that either (I know! I'm such a little witch!). Mainly because I don't want to diminish the meaningful happenings over the last year into bullet points. (But I did gain a precious little blue-eyed nephew AND I've fallen {deeply} in love with a man you ALL would just adore). You'll be able to catch up on your own because you're smart like that. Kind of like starting 24 mid-season... It'll take you 2 or 3 episodes, but you'll get it. If it were like LOST on the other hand...

What I will say in today's post is Thank GOD Michelle was sent home on the Bachelor! That girl was out of her mind CRAZY! Like, stalker-crazy. She made me all squirmy every time she talked or glared at the other girls.



I know... trash, right?

You're totally judging me. Now you're really not going to come back!

Well I, Andrea, watch this trashy show. But so does my roommate, Cathi. And in OUR defense, we watch it (only) together and laugh through most of it... especially when they play awesome songs like Jeffrey Osborne's "On the Wings of Love" while soaring through the air in an airplane. (I had to look that up because I kept wanting to write Joe Cocker, but I knew it wasn't his.) We're convinced that the show's producer's are like 70 years old... and they're single, living through the bachelor on his dates... because who else would play "On the Wings of Love" and be such an amnesiac that they forget that they JUST did a helicopter date! (Seriously... there is at least one helicopter in every show!) Oh, we have a whole shpeel conjured up about the behind-the-scenes stuff.

Just like you're all still conjuring up my reasons for leaving Blogland right now... Get over it! I'm back, okay!