So it's been VERY stormy... unusually stormy... here in the OC. And you all know how I feel about OC people and rain. I personally love the rain - being from Texas, it's familiar and homey. I will admit that at first I was a little nervous about it, but that lasted, oh until 1 minute after the pouring started. And it's been a blast laughing at people all week who aren't used to it... they even closed down college classes so that the students didn't have to walk in the "pouring rain." PUH-LEASE!! How are these kids going to learn how to take care of themselves? Anyway... so today the rain followed me... literally. I had to go out in the lovely cloudy bliss to run errands for work. I started about 8 miles north of my office. As soon as I parked, it started POURING and little hail balls came from the sky (and of course every facebook status of friends nearby displays "HAIL!!"... with pictures. The hail balls were the size of a pea). I watched and waited for it to let up before walking in the rain. Then I stopped for gas about 3 miles north of my office. For all you non-mathematicians, I drove 5 miles north toward my office... not that that matters. (I've always been incredibly annoying about the details in my story-telling. I've learned to accept it and I encourage you to as well... you'll like me more.) As I'm pumping gas, it started POURING and little hailing again. By the time I left the gas station it stopped. Then I stopped to pick up my lunch right by my office. And as soon as I parked, guess what? Yep, it started POURING and little hailing again. It made me chuckle and want to say aloud "Hi Hail! I JUST saw all your little brothers and sisters up in Mission Viejo! How was your descent?" But I refrained because I remembered they wouldn't be able to answer me and that would get really annoying!
SPEAKING OF hail... when I was in college my 1993 red Pontiac Grand Am got hammered by softball size hail, causing $3000.00 worth of damage. Is that how you say it? $3000.00 worth? It caused damage worth $3000? My insurance company had to pay the body repair shop $3000 to fix it? Which is correct? Oh hail... who cares...
SPEAKING OF my Red Pontiac Grand Am (you're already catching on!)... that thing was a PIECE! At first I thought it was super cool because it looked way better than my 1986 Chevy Nova... but after the 4th alternator in 6 weeks one year, I was over it! I named it Grand-Ma... Get it? Grand-AM... Grand-MA. Because it ran like a Grandma and it was red like a Granny Smith Apple. But then I learned that Granny Smith apples are only green and thank God Grand-Ma wasn't green because then I would have REALLY hated it!
SPEAKING OF Grandmas... I was called a "Bitch" by a Grandma at the grocery store the other day... well, I'm assuming she's a grandma... she was like 80. She ran over me with her cart but stopped while the wheel was still on my foot (she ran it into the shelf which is what stopped it)... and she hung on to the cart. It hurt! So I say patiently "Excuse me, you're on..." Then she sighed loudly and turned her head away from me (but held on to the cart). I kept trying pull my foot out but it wasn't budging. So I say again (with a little less patience) "Umm.. You're on my foot." Nothing. Nada. She just stood there trying to find the beans she was looking for. "Ma'am, you're on my foot!" I say sternly. She then growl-sighed and rolled forward while also rolling her eyes and says, "Bitch!" I didn't say anything. I just sat there with a look of disbelief. I gave Granny the benefit of the doubt while I bent down and gave my foot a little "I care" tlc.
SPEAKING OF TLC (this is fun!)... my old co-worker was on a show on TLC called "This Is Why You're Single." It was kind of like a cheesy intervention show where all of her friends and family waited in a room where she thought she was going to be interviewed. Then they all had to go around and say "______ is why you're single." Then she is supposed to learn from it and go on a blind date the next day and apply what she learned. ISN'T THAT HORRIBLE? What a stupid show.
SPEAKING OF being single... my friend, Megan, is a published author of a book called A Year of Blind Dates. It chronicles her, well... year of blind dates. It's funny, brilliant, honest... a great read! I'm so proud of her! You can order it off of Amazon! Go do it!
SPEAKING OF funny, brilliant, honest and a great read... wasn't this blog post game totally fun?!?!
1 comment:
Hi, its me, Julie's sister, and I found this blog funny and brilliant. You are a great writer. FYI - Most of the people in the O.C. have no sense of humor and they aren't very smart. Oh, and they hate rain, hail or any kind of weather. Sorry to say, I hate it when it's not 70 degrees. :) Fun, fun blog.
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